Greetings from the Odinson,
Ding, ding! It’s time once again, boys and girls for that time-honored tradition when the Odinson thinks about the super heroes (and villains) he’d love to see duke it out for the heavy weight championship belt. It’s time once again for Fight Night! Every comic fan has done this. They’ve sat around with friends, or gathered at the local comic shop, or simply pondered “who would win?” Here are some showdowns the Odinson would love to see come to fruition.
Daredevil vs. The Invisible Man – One is the Man without Fear. The other is a man who instills fear. Matt Murdock is lawyer by day, but by night, he is the masked vigilante known as Daredevil, Protector of Hell’s Kitchen. He’s trained in the ways of the ninja and though he is blind, his four remaining senses have been augmented to super human levels. Plus, he has a sixth sense mental radar. Griffin is a mad scientist that developed a potion that renders his body completely invisible to the naked eye. Driven mad by his inability to reverse his condition, Griffin seeks to terrorize the world and pad his pockets by robbing and stealing. WINNER: Daredevil. Matt Murdock is already blind and even if for some reason his radar couldn’t pick up Griffin, Daredevil is a super ninja, and ninjas are cool.
Cal McDonald vs. Constantine – One is a cynical, drug-using monster hunter that specializes in witches, werewolves, and vampires. The other is a wise-cracking, cigarette-smoking conman with a knack for outwitting the most terrifying fiends from hell. Cal McDonald is a private instigator that focuses on the supernatural and pursues the Criminal Macabre. John Constantine walks on the dark side of life and protects mankind from the things that lurk in the shadows and creatures of the night. He uses magical artifacts and spells and possesses a sleight of hand that could full the devil himself. WINNER: Constantine. He’s the original and the best there is at this macabre game and anyone that can get under the Swamp Thing’s skin and make Batman nervous is a force to be reckoned with.
Negan vs. Two-Face – One is the leader of a band of survivors that preys on the weak in a post-Apocalyptic world. The other is a criminally insane mobster whose brutality gives even the Batman pause. Negan is the leader of the Saviors and in a world turned upside down he has proven to be even more dangerous than the Walking Dead themselves. Backed by an army of muscle-bound, gun-totting thugs and a baseball bat wrapped in barbed-wire he calls Lucille, Negan makes the Governor look like a Girl Scout. Harvey Dent was once a champion for justice. As the D.A. of Gotham City he used to put criminals away. But after his face was horribly scarred by acid, his mind became fractured and he developed an unhealthy obsession with the number two. WINNER: Two-Face. While Negan is busy playing eeny meeny miny moe with Lucille, Two-Face has already flipped his scarred coin which has landed on tails and decided the Walking Dead villain’s fate.
Marv vs. The Barracuda – One is a hulking, two-fisted brawler with a strange sense of honor and an askew grasp on reality. The other is a hulking Special Force operative turned mercenary whose seemingly super human ability to survive almost any wound is legendary. In Sin City, the worst crime-ridden, back alley, cutthroat burg in the world, Marv is the toughest thug around. He’s been shot, stabbed, run over by a car, tortured, and electrocuted. The Barracuda has on several occasions overpowered the Punisher and overthrown powerful drug lords. He has been shot, stabbed, tortured, and even survived a shark attack on open sea. WINNER: Tie. When these two battle in the afterlife the pillars of hell will shake. I can’t imagine either of these bruisers walking away from this brawl intact. By time these two get done with each other, whom ever was left standing, there would not be enough left of him to be declared a winner.
Taskmaster vs. Prometheus – One has the uncanny ability to mimic the physical moves and combat skills of anybody he lays eyes on. The other is a tactical genius and possesses the technology to download the fighting skills of anybody on the planet. Taskmaster has fought the Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, to a stand still, gone toe-to-toe with Deadpool, trained John Walker (Captain America’s replacement), and is the go to guy in the criminal underworld whenever a criminal empire needs their thugs brought up to speed. Prometheus single-handedly nearly dismantled the Justice League, the World’s Greatest Super Heroes, and crippled Arsenal. WINNER: Taskmaster. He’d just watch footage of how Catwoman took Prometheus down with a bullwhip and duplicate the victory.
Dexter vs. Hannibal Lecter – One is the killer of serial killers. The other is the ultimate serial killer. Dexter Morgan lives a seemingly normal life. By day he works for the Miami PD as a forensic blood spatter analyst. He has a girlfriend and in everyway is a normal guy…except he’s not a normal guy. Dexter is a psychopath, but he has been trained to focus his sickness. Dexter is a serial killer that murders other serial killers. Hannibal Lecter is a psychiatrist and genius on the level of Lex Luthor and Doctor Doom. He has worked side-by-side with the FBI, using his expertise in the criminally insane to help capture serial killers. There’s just one catch – Hannibal is a cannibalistic serial killer himself. WINNER: Hannibal the Cannibal. This one is almost too close to call but where Dexter constantly struggles with the juxtaposition of his two lives, Hannibal has no qualms about his dark side. He knows he’s a monster and it’s dinner time.
Dr. Manhattan vs. Apocalypse – One is creature created by super science and has the power to rearrange matter and see time – past, present, and future – all at once. The other is a 5,000-year-old product of human evolution, a mutant despot who lives by the creed – only the strong will survive. Dr. Manhattan is the most powerful of the Watchmen and his existence changed the course of human history. He has the ability to walk through walls, teleport any distances, and control matter on a molecular level. En Sabah Nur is an immortal mutant, master schemer, and possesses the ability to control every single molecule in his body giving him incredible super human powers. WINNER: Dr. Manhattan. Manhattan would find Apocalypse quite interesting, a creature that can rearrange his own molecules even as Manhattan uses his own abilities to manipulate them. He would become fascinated with this mutant despot and want to experiment. That is until something else caught his attention.
Now those were some good brawls. Somebody call Damage Control because the collateral damage is going to be epic!
This is Odinson bidding thee farewell